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HOWARD STERN SHOW FULL 1-10-2008 + FULL WRAP UP Show 64K MP3 CF

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Preparing For Earthquake. 01/10/08. 6:00am
Howard's Plans For Letterman Appearance. 01/10/08. 6:10am
High Pitch Eric Explains His Threatening Messages. 01/10/08. 6:25am
Eric The Angry, Belligerent, Red Faced, Midget Actor Calls In. 01/10/08. 6:50am
Lisa G Stealing The Spotlight In Group Photo. 01/10/08. 7:15am
Mat Weddle's Cover Of ''Hey Ya'' Played. 01/10/08. 7:25am
An Angry Joey Buttafuoco Calls In. 01/10/08. 7:30am
A Calmer Eric The Midget Actor Calls In Again. 01/10/08. 7:45am
Howard Plays More ''Wife Swap'' Show Clips. 01/10/08. 7:55am
Howard Reads Some E-mail, Talks Poker And Card Games. 01/10/08. 8:15am
Howard's Dad Calls In. 01/10/08. 8:40am
Comedian Earthquake Visits. 01/10/08. 8:55am
Dr. Phil Discussions, Sour Shoes Birthday Wish And More. 01/10/08. 9:45am
Howard 100 News, Wrap Up Show And Superfan Roundtable Previews. 01/10/08. 10:00am
Robin's News. 01/10/08. 10:10am
Wrap Up Show - Earthquake's Interview. 01/10/08. 10:55am
Wrap Up Show - Robin's News Errors. 01/10/08. 11:10am
Wrap Up Show - Lisa G's Photo Op. 01/10/08. 11:15am
Wrap Up Show - High Pitch Eric. 01/10/08. 11:25am
Wrap Up Show - Joey Buttafuoco. 01/10/08. 11:35am
Wrap Up Show - Eric The Midget Actor. 01/10/08. 11:45am
Wrap Up Show - Ivy And Benjy. 01/10/08. 11:50am

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Preparing For Earthquake. 01/10/08. 6:00am

Show opening bits and songs included: ''I'm a Pedophile'' song parody, a prank call that Richard and Bob Levy made to a call in show, Bon Jovi and others performing ''With a Little Help From My Friends'' live at a Howard Stern birthday show.

Howard started the show talking about how great it was getting up so early in the morning with a smile on your face. He mentioned that comedian Earthquake was going to be stopping by today. He had a new TV series in the work but then the writer's strike happened and now it's on the shelf. He said he's not sure of the whole story there. Artie was doing his impression of Earthquake so Howard played some of his comedy bits that they've played in the past. They had him talking about Condoleeza Rice and doing the stuff that Artie was reciting just seconds before.

The guys like the way Earthquake says ''Condoleeza'' so they were repeating that a bit. They were also talking about some of the subjects that he was bringing up in his act. He was goofing on Michael Jackson in one bit that they played. That had Howard and Artie laughing pretty hard. Howard said he loves that guy and he'll be stopping by to say hello to them later.

Howard played another clip where Earthquake was goofing on John Kerry and Oprah Winfrey. He didn't remember hearing that one. He said that guy is something else and a very funny man. He said they'll talk to him about his TV show and hope that he gets something going when the writer's strike is over.

Howard's Plans For Letterman Appearance. 01/10/08. 6:10am

Howard took a call from a guy who wished Howard a happy birthday. Hook Nose Mike called in next and said that there was a 50 car pile up down there in Florida yesterday. They had some fog and it turned into a mess. Mike asked about the Letterman appearance he's doing tonight and how he'll be talking about the 8.3 million subscribers they have. Howard said that he's not going to stress out about doing the show and just try to stay calm.

Howard said that there's an article about how they're hoping that he'll breathe come life into the show tonight when he's on. He didn't know that it was his job to help Letterman beat Leno but that's apparently what he's supposed to do.

Howard said he's going on the show to talk about SIRIUS, he may talk about Dr. Phil too. He said that he likes that he's screwed up the way he has. He said that the news reports are saying all kinds of shit about Dr. Phil and he likes that the shit storm is falling down on him.

Howard said that he may talk about Drew Carey and the great life he's having right now. He said he never thought that he could be a game show host himself because of his looks, meanwhile Drew Carey is having that career and he's not a great looking dude. He said that if Drew can do it he's pretty sure he could do it. He'd tower over all of the contestants though.

Howard said he has that Jewy look of his and that might not work. He said that the guy who hosted the Dating Game, Jim Lang, was a radio guy but he was really smooth. They talked about that guy and Chuck Woolery. Howard said that Drew is kind of chubby but that doesn't seem to matter and people are accepting him. He said the guy looks like a shop teacher or something.

Howard said that he hated shop and the smell of the wood in there. He couldn't build anything and it just wasn't fun in that class. He said that the other kids would beat him up when they got a free moment. The kids would also throw stuff at the teacher and things like that. Howard said that his teacher would take out his anger on him if the other kids were doing stuff too. He said his parents were like that also. If his father was yelling at him, his mother would yell at both of them instead of just his father whose fault it was.

Howard said that every morning he wakes up and just says a quiet ''fuuuck'' when he's getting up. He said he's just a miserable person and he hates getting up in the morning and coming to this show. Artie said that he's an evil prick when he gets up. He said that he'd get up in the morning and he'd make as much noise as he could to wake up Dana because she gets that extra hour of sleep.

Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they watch that show ''Wife Swap.'' The guys don't watch it so the caller explained how bad some of the parents are on that show. Howard said he doesn't watch the show but he knows the premise of it. He said that he never gets motivated to watch the show but he's heard some clips. He played one clip where the parents were talking about how looks are the most important thing. They wait on their daughter hand and foot and let her talk shit to them. They make every day like Christmas for her and they do all of her school work for her because she's got such a busy schedule.

Robin said that these parents are preparing this kid for disaster. Howard played another clip where they go out to a restaurant and the kid is ordering her food. The kid wants toast that is really, really light but just barely crunches. He was talking about that but then High Pitch Eric called in.

High Pitch Eric Explains His Threatening Messages. 01/10/08. 6:25am

High Pitch Eric called in so Howard asked him what's going on with the phone calls that he made to that woman. He played some clips yesterday where he was threatening this girl. Eric said that he didn't mean any of that. He said that he thinks that people take advantage of him and they use him to get into events and shows and stuff. He said that she was evil to him when he wouldn't hang out with him and stuff like that.

Howard said that if Eric presents that to a judge he's going to end up in the slammer. Eric said that this woman got really pissed off at him when he wouldn't hang out with her so that's why he called and threatened her. He said that he had taken her to one of Artie's shows a couple of months ago and he got her to meet a bunch of people and she didn't appreciate it. He said that he wasn't even into her and didn't want to have sex with her or anything. Eric said that he didn't want to hang out with her like she wanted to hang out with him.

Howard said that he could have just told her no. Eric said he did that but she would get pissed at him. Howard said it sounds like he likes this chick but Eric said that's not it. He said that she got mad at him for not bringing her up to SIRIUS when he did the Superfan Roundtable a few weeks ago.

Howard asked Eric if he wanted to come clean and tell them that he's really in love with her. Eric said he's not in love with her, he doesn't care about hanging out with her. Howard said he was going to play the messages again and ask him what they meant. Gary said that the clips that they have are 2 minutes long while they actually ran for 6 minutes. They had to cut them down.

Howard played the first message where Eric called this woman Laura a fuck face and a liar. He asked Eric what was going on with that one. Eric said that he told her that he had gotten fired and she called Howard 100 News and told on him after he asked her not to tell anyone. Howard played some of his other messages like one where he calls the woman a Jew and threatens her. Howard pointed out that Eric is Jewish himself so that didn't make much sense.

Eric also threatens to smash this woman's face into the pavement if she talks about his friends. Howard said he's like a mobster. Eric said that she talked about his friends and that's why he did that. Howard said that he shouldn't care that much. Howard asked him who she's talking to about his friends. Eric said she's talking to him. Howard told him he should just ignore it and get away from her if he doesn't like hearing that stuff.

Howard asked Eric who the woman was in the background on the phone. Eric said he was watching the news. Howard had to ask him to turn it down. Then Eric said that Eric the Midget was upset that Howard wasn't picking up his calls. Howard said he can't get to them all the time.

Howard asked Eric if he's been charged with anything. Eric said he's been charged with aggravated harassment and it's a class A misdemeanor. He said that's better than a felony. Duh. The guys told him they know about that but ti's still wrong.

Artie said he remembers this chick and he was surprised that she was hanging out with him at the time. Howard thinks that Eric has been hanging out with this chick and he's thinking that he should be getting more out of her than he is. Howard asked Eric if that's the case. Eric said he never tried to kiss her and he never wanted to.

Sal came in and told Howard that he's right. He said that Eric met this woman at one of the shows he was at. She got to be friends with this guy Dennis, who drives him to gigs, and with Eric. Eric was threatening him because she was friends with that guy too. He said that Eric is nuts and he's lying about not liking this woman.

Howard played more of Eric's messages where he's threatening this woman. Artie said that he doesn't get this guy, he thought that he was kind of gay but this shows that he might be straight. Sal said that when Eric gets drunk he does hit on guys. He said that he was rubbing his cousin's feet and putting his hands through his hair in the limo. Eric denied that ever happening. He swore that he wasn't lying. Howard said that maybe Sal saw it wrong then.

Howard said that Eric is in a lot of trouble over this. Eric said he knows that. Sal told Howard that Eric was actually hired to work at the airport going through people's luggage at one point a few years ago. He was in charge of doing security there.

Eric said that he has to turn himself into the cops next week. He's not doing it this weekend because that's what his lawyer told him to do. Sal said he's doing that because he has a gig this weekend. Eric said that's not true. The guys talked to Eric about how he'll have to go in and get booked but he won't have to go to jail. At least that's what Eric is saying. He didn't seem so sure about that stuff though. He thinks he can get out on bail or maybe probation. Robin said that maybe it's a bench warrant or something. She wasn't sure of the procedures.

Howard told Eric to leave this chick alone, he's so in love with her. Eric said that he's not in love with her at all. Robin said if he's not, he's just plain crazy.

Howard took a call from a guy who said that he should bring him on Letterman tonight to explain himself. Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that he's totally harmless and there's another girl in the mix who is causing problems. She said that Eric isn't going to hurt anyone. Howard said they know that but this woman shouldn't have to hear this stuff on her answering machine.

Mariann asked what time she should be at Letterman tonight with her big sign. Howard told her he's not going to be there, she doesn't have to show up. He let her go and took a call from Dominic Barbara. Dominic said that this is big trouble and it could elevate to a felony level if he makes more calls after the whole thing goes through. Dominic sounded like he was half asleep while he was explaining this stuff. He told Eric that if he can't control himself he may get into some big trouble. He said that he doesn't think that the charges are only a misdemeanor and it may already be a felony.

Joey Boots called in and said that Eric is retarded. He said that anyone who would leave message on a voice mail like that has to be retarded. He said he had Eric convinced to smuggle heroin in condoms and to kill Mike Gange one time when he prank called him. That's how retarded he is. He said that he doesn't mean to demean Eric but he really does think that he's retarded.

Howard asked Eric how much 8+9 was. Eric got it right so Howard said maybe he's not retarded. Joey said that they should send him to a doctor. Howard asked Eric what 9X9 is and he got that right too. Howard was afraid that he was smarter than they think he is.

Joey said that if she was really scared by these messages, why would she post them on youtube? Howard said they can't blame the girl. She said that she's just a star fucker who is using Eric. Howard that's not right to blame her like that. Eric was wrong here and she can't take the blame.

Howard asked Eric some more questions and he was getting them right. Howard asked him what noise a chicken makes. Eric didn't know what sound a chicken makes though. Howard thought that Eric sounded pretty bright to him before that. Joey was saying that this chick is a star fucker but Howard said that she did nothing wrong. Howard asked where the ''star'' is in this star fucker thing. Howard let Joey go after that.

Howard told Eric that this is serious and he has to throw himself on the mercy of the court. Eric said he knows that. He said that he loves Howard and he gave him a great chance to be on his show. Howard told Eric to just calm down and tell the court what the deal is. Eric said that he'll keep them posted on it. Robin told him to call from prison but Eric said that he can't do that.

Howard and robin told him to let his lawyer do all of the talking. Eric told Howard that he can be seen on the Johnny Fratto Social Club web site. Eric asked him to pick up on Eric the Midget so he wouldn't get mad.

Eric The Angry, Belligerent, Red Faced, Midget Actor Calls In. 01/10/08. 6:50am

Howard picked up on Eric the Midget who was all upset about Howard picking up on him and giving his friend Kendra a hard time. Eric was also upset that Howard treated Johnny Fratto like crap yesterday when he called in with Meyer Lansky's grandson. Howard told Eric that he knows what he's doing with his show and he shouldn't be telling him what to do. He said he had other guests booked for the show yesterday and Johnny didn't book that guest.

Eric was also saying that Howard was supposed to pick up the calls in order, it was supposed to be him first, then Johnny. Howard said he didn't know there was an order to the calls. He wasn't informed about that.

Howard said that he doesn't know what he did wrong here. Eric said that Howard upset his friend Kendra by asking if she was a porn star. Eric said that she was very upset by that but Howard didn't know anything about her. He told Eric that she's not his girlfriend like he was claiming she was. Eric hasn't even met her in person yet. He's only spoken to her on the phone and in his chat. Howard said that he's being fucked with. Eric said he's not though.

Eric said that he's not ''Eric the Midget'' either. He's ''Eric the Actor.'' Howard said he's Eric the Midget no matter what he says. Artie added that he's ''Eric the Dickhead Midget'' after that.

Eric was arguing about this Kendra chick being a porn star so Gary came in and said that she's got some pictures of herself up on the site that show her doing pornographic stuff. Eric got really angry and yelled at them. He said that she never shows her nipples and never does anything pornographic on her web site. The guys said that she's doing soft core porn then.

Howard said he doesn't care if this chick is a porn star or not. He doesn't even know who she is. Howard said he doesn't owe anyone an apology because all he did was ask a question. He said that he just saw the picture of her and she's got her top off and she's in her panties.

Howard asked Eric if she's really in a relationship with him. Eric said that is what's going on. Artie asked him if she knows that he paints his hair. Eric was silent for a moment when that was asked. Howard and the guys were goofing on Eric but Eric wasn't taking it very well this morning. He was very angry about this Kendra thing.

Howard asked Eric how he met this chick. Eric said that it was through this JFSC web site. High Pitch said that there are some other hot chicks who come in that chat too.

Howard asked Eric when he's going to meet this Kendra chick. He said ''hopefully soon.'' He claims she's his girlfriend but he hasn't met her in person. He said that he got a call from her last Wednesday night and talked to her for 2 and a half hours. Howard asked him when they told each other that they were falling in love. Eric said that was on Sunday night.

Eric said that he never said he loved this girl, he just asked her if she would be his girlfriend. Robin said that's what happens in these sex phone calls that some people do on the web. Howard wondered if she's exclusive to Eric. Eric seems to be under the impression that she is.

Howard said that Eric was turning more and more red as this was going on. Artie thought that he was picking his zit too but Eric said he was just trying to calm down. He went on to say that he hopes to get married to this chick eventually. Artie told him that there's a better chance of her marrying a coyote.

Jessica Hahn called in and asked Eric if this Kendra was the girl that was with Hugh Hefner. Eric was gone because Howard had accidentally hung up on him. He said he didn't do that intentionally. He thanked High Pitch for the call and let him go a short time later.

Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard has created a monster with this guy. He said his problem is that he's never been smacked. Artie said that God smacked him pretty hard. The caller thinks that Eric is delusional and there's no way that this chick is rally going to date him. Robin said that it is funny that he thinks that she's actually going to date this woman. She said that it's probably not even her real name. She wondered if he's paying for these phone calls to this girl.

Howard said he wished that he hadn't hung up on him, he didn't mean to. He said that it would be nice if Eric could have that kind of love that Robin and Jim Florentine have. Artie said that Jim called him last night but they ended up playing phone tag. He said that Jim left him a message saying that it was the deep thinker calling. He said that was pretty funny. Robin said that she's as delusional as Eric is thinking that Jim is a deep thinker. Howard went to break a short time later.

Lisa G Stealing The Spotlight In Group Photo. 01/10/08. 7:15am

Howard came right back after the break and got in a plug for the Superfan Roundtable show that's on Howard 101 tonight at 7pm. He said they'll be talking about their second anniversary there. He said that they take a big group photo there every year on 1/9. He said they did that yesterday and they'll do it next year too. He said he can't wait. He said there were people there yesterday who he didn't even recognize.

Howard said that Lisa G wore red just to stand out in the photo. He had her come in with her Howard 100 news preview. She said that she looks like she was photoshopped into the picture because she stands out so much. Howard said that she does look like she's blocking Robin out. Howard said that she craves attention and that's what happens when she does it.

Artie said that he wasn't even in the picture. He said that he was in the back but then they saw that he was in that shot that they were looking at. Howard said that he didn't want to take that photo yesterday, he wasn't into it at all. He said that Lisa looked very pretty and she looked like she was very into getting the picture taken.

Howard said that they were standing there and Gary got a hold of him and he was directing him where to stand. He said that he didn't know why he was listening to him. He said he just went to the back because he's super tall.

Lisa said that when they do pictures with politicians, they just leave a space for them to pose in. She thinks that they should have done that for Howard. Howard said he doesn't care, it's all about solidarity and it's not just about him.

Howard said that Lisa was in the photo from last year too. He said that she's very funny because she's always front and center. She thought that it was because of her big head but that's not it at all. Howard said that Lisa is the center piece. It's like the picture was based on her.

Gary asked if they knew how much the cake was that they had there yesterday. Howard guessed $1000 at one point and that's how much it was. Gary said they went to Martha Stewart's cake maker and that's why it was so much.

Lisa got to her news preview and said that Scott DePace is going to a trade show next week and he'll be pushing his Video Caddy product. HE's claiming that he's turning a profit already with sales but he won't say how many he's sold. Artie said that the one he bought was stolen from where he was keeping it in the studio.

Lisa said that they have a story about Adam Buckman talking about how bad some of the late night shows have been without writers. She said that Buckman said some nice things about Howard when she spoke to him. Howard wrapped up after that and found out that JD was the one who had Artie's Video Caddy. He came in and told him that he had it with him.

Mat Weddle's Cover Of ''Hey Ya'' Played. 01/10/08. 7:25am

Howard said that he was in the middle of playing those Wife Swap clips earlier when the two Eric's called in. He said that he was going to get back to that but ended up talking about this audio clip he got from someone where a guy, Mat Weddle, did an acoustic version of that song ''Hey Ya'' and he thought it was kind of cool. He played a little bit of it for the guys so they could hear it. The clip is up on YouTube if you want to check it out.

Howard said the guy looks kind of like that Grizzly Adams guy with the beard and all. He let the song play through quite a bit and said that he likes that he took a song that you don't think could be acoustic and made it work. He said that it shows how good the song is. Robin said that the lyrics don't make any sense though so that's the only problem with the song. She said that it sounded weird to her. Fred said it was a nice vibe and the guy has some other songs in iTunes with his band.

Artie said that if he saw this guy playing, he'd probably pull a Belushi and take the guitar and smash it. He said he was trying to concentrate on the lyrics but Howard was talking over them. Howard said he never listens to the lyrics but Artie said he has to have listened to Beatles lyrics and stuff. Howard said he rarely does.

Howard got back to the Wife Swap clips where this family was talking about how they coddle their daughter. Howard was going to go back and repeat the clips that he's already played but then he realized that Joey Buttafuoco was calling in.

An Angry Joey Buttafuoco Calls In. 01/10/08. 7:30am

Howard said that Joey Buttafuoco is claiming that the porn tape that's out with him and his wife in it was taped without his consent. Gary told Howard to let Joey talk about how mad he is about this tape coming out. Joey said he's very tired this morning and went on to talk about how angry he is that this tape is coming out. He said hat this guy who is putting it out used to be a friend of his. He was very close to them for years and this is something that he did to him that just wasn't right. Joey claims that he didn't know that there were cameras in the room at this guy Rob Spillone's house.

Howard said that this guy is allegedly releasing the tape without Joey's permission. They had Rob on the phone to talk to him. Joey said that he hasn't been able to get in touch with him but Howard was. Howard got Rob on the phone and asked him what's going on there.

Joey said that he's a fucking scumbag and he's going to see him in Vegas tomorrow and he's going to find him and he's going to crush his head. Howard let the two of them go at each other for a minute and then said that this was the worst acting he's ever heard.

Howard said that Joey is obviously in on this and they can cut the horse shit with him. He said that he knows that they're in on this together. He said that Gary told him that the porn was taped so well that it couldn't have been done secretly. Howard said that a tape like that can't be released without permission and it's obvious that they're working together.

Howard asked Joey if he wanted to come clean and admit that it was set up. Joey was off the phone by that point so Gary told him that he did that because he was ''angry.'' Gary said that Joey called him yesterday and told him how angry he was and how he wasn't able to get in touch with Rob. Meanwhile, he gave him his number and he was able to set up the whole thing within 11 minutes.

Joey called back in and said that he doesn't want any of this shit and he doesn't need this crap going on. He said that he doesn't want this tape to come out but no one was trying to get a cease and desist. Joey claims that he just found out about this two days ago and that's why there's no cease and desist. He said that he just heard that he was shopping it around and that's what's going on there.

Fred said that the people who are distributing this tape are the same ones who are distributing the Amy Fisher tape. Joey said he knows nothing about that. robin asked about what was going on with Joey and Amy a few months ago and how they were going to be leaving their wives and husbands for each other. Joey said that they didn't want to go down the road that the creep David Krief was going with that stuff.

Dominic Barbara called in and said that if this is true and the sex was taped without his knowledge, he could have this guy arrested. He was also saying that he thinks that he was used by Amy Fisher getting her out of jail and he apologized to Mary Jo about that. No one was sure what he was talking about when he said that though.

Howard played a clip of Joey banging his wife in this porn video. They watched the clip in the studio and Gary pointed out that they were in the frame perfectly and the room was lit great. The only thing missing was the guy with the clapper thing according to the guys.

Bong Hit Eric called in and said that this was obviously acting. Joey told him that he's not acting and this caller was an asshole. He said he was going to hang up because he doesn't have to deal with this shit. He was gone a few seconds later. Howard asked this guy Rob if he was in business with Joey or not. Rob said ''absolutely not'' and denied being in cahoots with him over this tape. No one was believing that though.

Artie said that the funny thing is that Rob and Joey are probably on the phone with each other asking how that call went. Howard said that if he's wrong, he apologizes, but he's going to have a hard time convincing him that they're not working together on this tape.

Artie said that this is a real insult to Joey's kids. He said that he must think they're stupid to believe that this is really going on.

A Calmer Eric The Midget Actor Calls In Again. 01/10/08. 7:45am

Howard had Eric the Midget back on the phone. He said that he didn't have time to get into it again with him. Eric said that Will told him to call back in, that's why he was back. Howard apologized for that because he had hung up on him earlier. Howard wished Eric luck with this Kendra chick.

Eric said that it's Kendra's 24th birthday this weekend and he's hoping to be able to get her something. Artie said that each year she's been alive equals one inch of Eric's height. Eric said that he's taller than 24 inches and called him a fat ass.

Richard came in and asked Eric if he could have a password to get into Kendra's web site so he can jerk off to her. He said that she doesn't get down to any more than a bra. SHE doesn't get naked. Richard asked him why he thinks that people subscribe to her on a web cam if she's not getting naked. He thinks that she's just nice to talk to. Richard said that she's topless on her web site, KendrasSecret.com.

Howard asked Eric if he's jerked off to this chick. Eric said he wasn't going to say. Artie asked him if his bed's new name is Kendra. Eric didn't respond. Howard wished Eric luck with all of that and let him go a short time later. He said that he does have a little relationship going there and he hopes that it blossoms. He had to take a break after that.

Howard Plays More ''Wife Swap'' Show Clips. 01/10/08. 7:55am

During the break Howard was complaining that Mike Gange was in the studio while he was sick. They were doing a commercial for Howard TV and talking about the upcoming Penny Preview that they're doing in February. They have a bunch of great clips coming up for that special that will only cost people a penny.

After the break we heard an ''Ask the Retards'' bit where Wendy and Gary the Retards were asked about diarrhea. We also heard a prank call the guys made using some Ol' Dirty Bastard audio clips. Howard came back a short time later and brought up the Wife Swap clips again. He said he never watches that show but Gary and JD were playing him some clips that were kind of interesting. They get some wacky parents on that show. He said that this one couple he was talking about earlier are coddling their daughter, who is about 13, and they spoil her rotten. He said that they bring in another mom to discipline her on this Wife Swap show.

Howard replayed some of the clips that he played earlier in the show before he was cut off. He played the clip where the mother is doing her daughter's homework and things like that. Then he played the clip where the kid is asking for her toast very lightly toasted. Then they play a clip where the kid gets upset that her Christmas tree was taken away from her and told that no one was going to do her homework for her when the new mom comes in to take over.

Howard said he might have to start watching that show now that he's heard some of this stuff. Gary said he watches it and he's seen them put some slightly anti-Semitic people in Jewish families and things like that.

Howard played another clip where this girl is being asked some questions about history and things like that. The new mother makes her do her own homework and talks about how she can't even spell America. The girl wasn't able to complete sentences and things like that either.

There was another clip where they take the kid to a restaurant to apologize to a waitress she had insulted. She ended up crying. Howard said he might have to start watching that show. Robin told him that he won't like it because she saw it last night and one mother was bigger than the other.

Howard and the guys were talking about some new show where they have some dopey celebrities doing stuff. That led to Howard saying that he thinks that Pam Anderson might be kind of out of it. He just read that she might be pregnant again.

Howard Reads Some E-mail, Talks Poker And Card Games. 01/10/08. 8:15am

Howard read an e-mail from a guy who said that Riley has gone over the line going off on Howard the way he did on Tuesday night. Another guy said that he should have been fired after that rant for talking about Howard that way. He said that anyone else would be fired over something like that. Other people wrote in about his rants and thought he really was out of line with what he said.

JD came in and said that he was on Pam Anderson's web site and she's got some blogs on there and her entry for today was simply ''No.'' That was it, just the word No. He said that she doesn't really open up about anything either. She just posts real quick comments about going on trips and stuff.

Howard heard that JD blogs on his Myspace page. Howard asked to see some of that stuff so he could read it.

Howard read an e-mail about how he had asked Artie to learn chess to take up some of his free time so he doesn't end up weeping on the foot of his bed. The writer suggested that they take up poker or something. Artie said that he's going to have a card table room in his house and he won't be too far from Atlantic City so they can do that this summer. Howard said he'd go to A.C. with Artie and they don't have to wait until summer to do that. They should just go. He and Artie had some fun in the past playing poker so they want to do that again.

Howard and Artie talked about going down there with Stuttering John one time and how John thought he had a flush but it turned out he was wrong. He ended up getting all flustered when he realized his mistake. Howard said that they had a bunch of guys down there and they all sucked at poker. He said that Gary was out of his mind with his betting and he ended up wiping him out pretty quick. Gary came in and talked about that with Howard.

Howard was goofing on Gary about his poker playing and how bad he was. That led to Fred playing some Baba Booey song parodies. Howard said he has to be good playing cards because his father used to yell at him about his playing when he was a kid. He said that they'd play all different types of card games when he was a kid.

Howard said that he could beat anyone at Gin Rummy. Artie said that he was pretty good at it. That led to the guys talking about games like Pinnacle and how it seems like no one even plays anymore. Gary asked Howard what the most fun day he ever had with his father was. Howard said they never had fun. He said that he and his father never spent any time alone together. He said that the card games were in front of the rest of the family so his father could humiliate him in front of everyone. He said that wasn't fun either.

Robin said that her father used to have her brother hang out with him and wash the car and stuff like that. Howard said that his father had no patience for him. He said they never really did anything together. He said they went to a movie together once and it turned into a disaster. He said they saw Barbarella together and it was very uncomfortable watching it together. He said they never went to another one together. Gary said that he and his father would go to that kind of stuff all the time.

Howard and his father never had much to talk about and they'd avoid putting each other in that position where they'd have to sit down and talk.

Artie said that his father would take him to Rickles (a hardware store) and have him be the look out while he stole a hammer. He said his father was like a klepto and had to rip stuff off all the time. He said he was about 10 years old at the time and had some fun being the lookout. He said that they played baseball every weekend too so they had a lot of good times together.

Howard said that he can't blame his father for not wanting to hang around him. He said that if he had a son, he'd love the kid and would probably hang out with him. He said he does that with his daughters. He said they're the ones who don't seem to want to hang out with him. He said that maybe he's the problem, not the other people. Robin said that maybe he was a problem child and that has never gone away. Howard said he's still miserable when he goes out with people. He said he'll make plans and when the time comes, he just wants to get it out of the way.

Howard said that Earthquake was there so they had to get to him. Fred said they had to take a break first. Artie wanted to know if Earthquake hung out with his father. He said it sounds like he did from the stuff they've heard in his comedy act. Howard said they'll ask him about all of that when they get him in there.

Howard's Dad Calls In. 01/10/08. 8:40am

After the break we heard a prank call that Sal made to G. Gordon Liddy using audio clips of Crackhead Bob. Fred played some Weezer ''Beverly Hills'' as they were coming back. Howard took a call from his father who said that the stories he was telling were a bunch of baloney. Ben said that Howard once decided that he was interested in fishing so he took him out and he turned out to be very disinterested so he gave up. He said that he tried taking him fishing and he doesn't even remember that.

Ben said that he also took Howard to see some plays and things like that as well. They did spend time together so he was full of it saying that he never spent time with him. Howard said that his father never liked hanging out with him, that's all he was saying. Howard said that they took him out with the family but they didn't spend a lot of time alone together. He said Ben never came into his room and asked him how he was doing or anything like that.

Ben said that he never had to ask Howard how he was doing, he could tell from his exuberance. He said he was also at work all day and didn't have time to do that kind of stuff. Howard said his father still doesn't call him and ask how he's doing. He said he calls his mother all the time and he never gets on the line. Ben said that she does all of the talking and she fills him in on what's going on.

Howard asked Ben if they've ever just gone out to eat or anything like that. Ben said that they haven't, he agrees with him about that. Howard said that he's like his father and his father is like him. They don't want to go out and hang out like other fathers and sons do.

Howard said that they could go to a basketball game or something but it'll just never happen. He said that no one asks him to go to so he doesn't ask anyone to go with him. Howard said that he wanted to hang with his father but he seemed irritated with him so he didn't want to go. Ben said that he did spend time with his son, that's all he wanted to say. Howard told him that he was a good dad, he wasn't saying he wasn't.

Howard said he never wanted a father who asks all of these annoying questions like other people have. He said he likes the way things went. He said that they have a great relationship now. He said they don't need all of that contact that other families have.

Robin said that Howard had lied because he actually did go fishing with his father. Howard said that he has a great relationship with him now and he loves him very much. He asked him for his views on what's going on in politics these days. Ben said that he's very confused by all of these people who want to run for President. He's not sure who he's going to vote for.

Howard talked to his dad about this merger thing too. Ben said that AT&T is a good example of how the government doesn't really care about big companies getting together. they broke them up years ago but now they're letting them get back together. He said that holding up this satellite radio merger is ridiculous. They spent a short time on that before Howard had to wrap up with him so he could get to Earthquake. He said he'd talk to Ben in another two years. Ben said this conversation should have been long enough to make it last for that two years. Ben told Howard he loves him as he was getting off the line.

Comedian Earthquake Visits. 01/10/08. 8:55am

Comedian Earthquake came in after Ben's call. Howard said that Earthquake was flying out today to do a movie somewhere. Howard had Robin showing off her body to Earthquake since he hadn't seen her since she lost her weight. They spent a minute on that and then asked him about his thoughts on Barak Obama. He said that he thought he had a chance until Hillary broke down and cried. He said that it's over now and Hillary is going to take it if she keeps crying. You can't beat a woman crying.

Howard asked Earthquake about his divorce and what went wrong there. Earthquake said that things are getting good now and getting better for him. He said that his wife was really cruel after they split up. He said that she was calling him ugly and saying he had a small penis. He said that penis might be small sometimes but she didn't have to point that stuff out to him.

Earthquake said that he's been dating and he ends up getting ripped off. He said that he'll go out, meet a woman, take her home and when he wakes up in the morning all of his stuff is gone.

Howard said that Katt Williams was in there talking about how hard it is to be a black road comic because people will always try to rip him off. Earthquake said that's true. He said that he is a target in his community and had all of his stuff stolen recently. He said that you have to be very conscious about where you're at and who you deal with. He said that he's been playing in such dangerous places that his insurance company said they were going to cancel his life insurance policy.

Earthquake said that he's been going out with younger women and they're so energetic that they'll rip your ass up. Howard said that it must be tough being him. Earthquake said that he's dated some white women and his name scares them. Howard said that he's dated black women and it is different than dating a white woman. Earthquake said that a black woman doesn't believe anything you tell them so you have to have your story straight.

Earthquake said that he was a faithful husband but once he realized he dint' want to be with her anymore, she had to go. He said that she didn't want to be his wife anymore so he had to get out of that marriage. He said that he's not like these white guys who kill their wives though. He said that he could tell that she was done with him because he was getting signs pretty early on. He said they have kids together so he's got the kid telling him about her demands and stuff.

Howard asked Earthquake why he thinks his wife is being so mean during this divorce. Earthquake said that she thinks that he's talking about her in his act and stuff but he's really just talking about the experience. He said that he doesn't mention her name when he talks about the marriage and divorce. He said that he shouldn't have to pay her just because she thinks that he's not the right man for her. He doesn't get that shit.

Earthquake said that the white judge who handled his case treated him okay. He said that his wife was really good in court and she was so good that he was clapping for her. He said his first lawyer was incompetent and really screwed things up. He said that his new one is okay though and they're working things out now. He said that his wife was making a lot of wild claims about him being with transvestites and stuff like that. He said she made claims that just weren't true too. He said that she claimed he was hitting her and stuff but he never laid a hand on any woman.

Howard asked Earthquake about his TV show that's been put on hold because of the writer's strike. Earthquake said he got this big break and then the writer's went on strike. Howard said he knows the guy who was working with him on this new show. Earthquake said he had a great deal in order and he was about to make it but then two days later they went on strike. He said he never saw a cent because of that.

Earthquake said that he's going off to shoot a movie after he does this show. He's going down to Louisiana to shoot a movie with Ice Cube called ''The Come Back.'' He said they didn't even ask him to screen test or anything, they just hired him. He told Howard about the character he's playing and how he'll be part of the supporting cast.

Robin asked Earthquake if he just doesn't have the ability to pick the right woman. He said that must be the case. He really can't pick the right one, he picks women like Isaiah does.

Earthquake said that he's going to be away for 6 weeks shooting this movie. He said he had to leave his friends behind though because he only got one hotel room.

Howard said that Earthquake brought in a couple of his friends with him so he had them come in to say hello. He had one friend who opens up for him at comedy shows. He used to play both pro baseball and football. He got cut from both of those things so he got into comedy. He asked the guys what they say to Earthquake when they know about his divorce. One of the guys said that he's got a great wife and Earthquake wishes he had a woman like that.

Howard said that Earthquake has a black cloud following him or something because he's been ripped off by these women. Earthquake said that the one woman who stole from him while he was away was someone he met at church of all places. He said that she took so much that it was like a new house when he got home. He said that they took everything of value. She even took his weed, his safe and every TV in the house. Howard said that Earthquake has to get an empty apartment to bring these chicks to so he can test them out first.

Howard gave Earthquake a plug for a gig he's doing down at the House of Blues in Atlantic City this Saturday night. He said that's a fun place to see a show.

Howard took a phone call from a guy who said that he was a big fan and remembered a bit he did about OJ Simpson. That led to Howard talking about OJ and the trouble he just got into recently. Earthquake said that he and his mother had a falling out about the OJ murder case. He said he knew that OJ was guilty while his mother didn't believe it.

Howard asked Earthquake about the use of the N-word in his act. He pointed out that a bunch of people have stopped using it all together like Paul Mooney. He asked what he thinks about Michael Richards' using it. Earthquake said that he knows Michael and sometimes you'll do whatever you have to when you have people heckling you at a club.

Howard took a call from Earthquake's wife (Crazy Alice audio clips) and she was calling him names using the N-word and things like that. Howard said he didn't think that was really his ex-wife at all. Artie said that was someone's ex-wife though.

Howard told Earthquake he likes that he's still being edgy and doing his thing. He said that it's tough to make people laugh and get people out to the clubs. Earthquake said that people are going out to the clubs these days because they have to laugh so they don't cry with all of the crap going on these days.

Howard said that the guys in the office were kind of scared by the two guys who came in with Earthquake but he didn't understand that. He said that they were very nice guys. He spent a little more time talking to them.

Howard said that most people don't know that Earthquake was in the air force. He got out before they went to war again because he didn't want anything to do with that. He said that he actually dropped a nuclear weapon on his foot one time when he was loading them up. He said that he could have set it off and everyone went running when he did that. He said that he asked everyone why they were running because you can't outrun a nuclear blast. He said even if you're Carl Lewis you ain't gonna outrun a nuke.

Earthquake said that even the President knew about how he had dropped the nuke. He said that when you do something crazy like that, everyone knows about it. He said that they change the weapons in the planes all the time and that's all they were doing that day when he dropped the nuke. He said that he was in a rush to get out of there because he had a concert to go to that night.

Howard asked Earthquake what made him get out of the Air Force when he did. He said that he saw a briefing of what they were going to be up against and he decided that going up against people who were willing to blow themselves up wasn't for him. He said that they were calling him a coward and spitting on him but he didn't care, he just wanted to get the hell out. He was a Sargent at the time and doing pretty well. He said that he wasn't going to go and fight for oil though, he doesn't even have a car. He said that they can send other people over there to fight for that stuff.

Howard said he likes that Earthquake speaks up for himself about that stuff. He talked to him about that stuff for a little more time and also spoke to his friends that were sitting in. The guy who used to play football was on the Patriots but got bumped just 3 weeks before they won the Super Bowl. He got nothing from that win because he was off the team at that point. He didn't even get a ring. He said he got a phone call from the locker room and that was about it other than getting to party with the team.

Howard gave Earthquake another plug for his comedy show and started to wrap up with them a short time later. Howard had to hit the delay button on something that Artie said that must have been libelous or something. They were talking about some baseball player at the time. Earthquake's friend, Des White, had some stories about getting into football after playing pro baseball for a while. He didn't even go to college, he was signed to play baseball right out of high school. Artie told Earthquake to drop this guy and maybe 3 weeks later he'll win an Oscar or something. Howard wrapped up with everyone a short time later and went to break.

Dr. Phil Discussions, Sour Shoes Birthday Wish And More. 01/10/08. 9:45am

After the break we heard a Gary Garver interview with Leon Spinks. We also heard a prank call that High Pitch Eric made to a woman who was selling some ducks. Fred played a cover of ''Instant Karma'' that U2 did as they were coming out of break. Howard was singing along with it as he came back. Howard wondered why they remade the song. Fred said they did it for a charity album and now it's up for a Grammy.

Artie told a story about Bono from U2 doing this really annoying thing up on stage at a show. He would clap every 20 seconds and then told the audience that every time he clapped a child would die in Darfur. He heard that someone in the audience told him to stop clapping then.

Howard said that he's been screaming about this Dr. Phil and Britney Spears thing lately and other people are starting to get in on that. He played some clips where some people were talking about how Dr. Phil really isn't a ''doctor'' with a license so they can't take a license away from him for doing what he's done with Britney. In this one report they talked about how he was reported by a patient of his and that's under review right now. They said that he may need a psychiatric evaluation.

Howard said that Dr. Phil is catching a shit storm and it's about time. He said he just doesn't like the guy. He's glad that they're all coming down on him now.

Howard said that he was thinking about going on Letterman tonight and announcing that he was Jaime Lynn Spears' baby's father. He wasn't sure if that would be a good idea though. Robin said they'd probably have to investigate him if he did that.

Artie said that there was a picture of Lindsay Lohan in the paper tody with some older dude. Howard said that she must be so nuts. He said if he had run across her when he was on his tear, he probably would have banged her.

Howard said that he had the band Yes on the phone to wish him a happy birthday. He picked up but it was actually Sour Shoes doing his Yes impression. He sang Howard some Yes songs and did an impression of the lead singer of the band. Then he broke into his Scott Ferrall impression for a few seconds. Howard thanked him for the call but Sour Shoes had some more impressions to do. He did his Mutt from Superfan Roundtable impression and some Crosby, Stills and Nash stuff.

Howard asked Artie how his grandmother is doing after she was mentioned. He didn't get a chance to respond because Sour Shoes was singing over him. Howard requested a song but when Sour didn't come through, he bailed on the call.

Howard 100 News, Wrap Up Show And Superfan Roundtable Previews. 01/10/08. 10:00am

Howard had Steve Langford come in with his Howard 100 News preview. He ended up reading an article about his upcoming Letterman appearance tonight. He was also saying that Steve wants to be there tonight with him so he's coming along with him. Howard said that they really think that he can help Dave out with his ratings tonight and finally beat Leno. Letterman has been losing to Leno in the ratings even though Leno has no writers.

Gary told Howard that they heard that upper management was going to give Howard a bunch of talking points for tonight's Letterman appearance. Howard said he already got that list and he's been preparing. He said he's going to talk about how he's been there for 700 days and how they've gone from 700,000 subscribers up to 8.3 million. That's going to be the main talking point for him and he's going to tell Dave he'll be back there next year to fill him in on how many he has at that point.

Howard said that he has to be all neurotic for the rest of the day. He's got to try and take a nap and then go over there to do the show. Artie said that Steve should be a great help for all of that.

Howard said that he had some other facts about SIRIUS that they want him to talk about tonight. He said he could talk about how SIRIUS broadcasts from 3 satellites. He said that they really think that the whole conversation is going to be about SIRIUS over there at Letterman.

Howard was making up the conversation he was going to have with Dave and Fred started playing some snoring sound effects. Howard said he has a headache already thinking about this shit. He said that last time they made him bring the Stiletto with him to plug that. Artie told him he could bring the new one out tonight.

Robin said that tonight is the night that Jimmy Kimmel is going to be on Leno and Leno is doing Kimmel. Howard didn't know that's why they were having him on tonight.

Steve Langford said that they have a story about the target of High Pitch Eric's rage, Laura. She said that she had to call the cops after some of the threatening calls she's been getting, even after she filed the complaint. Steve also said that they have a story about a fan who saw Crazy Alice on a bus out in L.A. screaming out the word ''fag'' the whole time. They'll have more about that today on Howard 100 News. Steve said they also have KC Armstrong speaking out about his recent arrest. They're also going to be covering Howard's appearance on Letterman tonight. Steve also mentioned a story about George Takei that they'll be talking about.

Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He said they'll be talking about Earthquake's appearance, Joey Buttafuoco's call and much, much more.

Howard had Mutt on the phone to talk about what they had coming up. King of All Blacks is supposed to be on tonight. They're going to talk about the past 2 years there at SIRIUS and what the fans would like to see over the next few years. Mutt wished him good luck on Letterman tonight as he was saying goodbye. Howard wondered why he'd need luck.

Robin's News. 01/10/08. 10:10am

Fred played one of Robin's news theme songs before Howard had her start. Gary said that they had KC on the phone too but Howard said he'd like to put that off until Monday. Fred played Robin's cell phone ringing sound effect as she was starting her news. She knows by now that it's not really ringing.

Robin read a story about a comment that a Golf channel reporter made about Tiger Woods that got her into some trouble. She said something about lynching him in a back alley as a joke. She ended up getting suspended and had to apologize for what she said. Howard said it would have been great if Imus had said it.

Howard said that Sal's apology was much better than that woman's. That got Artie doing his impression of Sal making that apology and reciting some of the dumb lines that Sal had in that apology. Howard played the apology and goofed on Sal some more as that was playing. Sal had made a comment about Miss Howard Stern having a black baby because she had been drinking. They made him think that he was in trouble with management and had him record this apology. Then they told him that it wasn't good enough and had him record another one. Howard played that one as well where Sal freaked out that he didn't know what to say.

Artie said that was one of the funniest things ever. He and Howard goofed on Sal for a few minutes about what a dolt he is.

Robin got back to her news and talked a little more about that woman who was suspended from the Golf Channel. Howard said that she needs Richard in the room with her during her apology and played more of the Sal clip where he was all stressed out about his apology.

Robin read another story about how some restaurants are sticking their unpaid bills with the waiters and waitresses that take care of those customers. In another story she read about a Polish guy who went to a brothel and saw his wife there as one of the whores. She read another one about a man who microwaved his hand. She said that he cut his hand off and put it in the microwave. He cut it off with a circular saw and then threw it in and cooked it up.

Artie said that he had a good buddy who was a cop and he came across people who had microwaved their baby. He said there's nothing you can do to deal with that to get over what you see. Fred played some of JD's laughs after Artie told that story.

Robin read a story about a pig that had it's genes changed so it would glow in the dark and it passed it along to it's young. That's apparently good news for future genetic research and cloning pigs for human organ transplants.

Robin read another story about Tyra Banks and how empty she feels when she gets home and has no one there for her. She read another one about a guy who threw his 4 kids off a bridge and killed them down in Louisiana. She read some stuff about Barak Obama and how much hype he's been getting lately.

Through the news Fred was throwing in some clips from the Amy Fisher sex tape that had Artie cracking up each time he heard them.

Robin covered a story about President Bush warning Iran not to attack our ships over there. He's saying that there will be serious consequences if they do attack the ships. Robin read through some other stories about Britney Spears recent breakdown, Nicole Kidman's baby, the writer's strike and Keanu Reeves star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame or the End of Days according to Howard.

Robin read through some other stories about the new season of The Apprentice and had some clips to play. Howard played through those and said that none of those celebrities care about being the Apprentice. Robin also said that this new Terminator series is coming out but she thinks the kid is too old in the show. Howard said he saw the first two episodes

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