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HOWARD STERN SHOW FULL 1-9-2008 + FULL WRAP UP Show 64K MP3 CF

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Howard Doing Letterman Thursday Night. 01/09/08. 6:00am
Howard And Robin's Movie Reviews. 01/09/08. 6:10am
Sal's Lack Of Knowledge Exposed Again. 01/09/08. 6:15am
Merger Discussions. 01/09/08. 6:30am
Sal And Richard's Latest Prank Call. 01/09/08. 6:50am
Artie Shows Up 55 Minutes Late. 01/09/08. 6:55am
Howard Plays High Pitch Eric's Creepy Voice Mail Messages. 01/09/08. 7:00am
Johnny Fratto Calls In With A Special Guest. 01/09/08. 7:10am
Emily And Davina Evaluated For Playboy. 01/09/08. 7:20am
Drew Carey Calls In. 01/09/08. 8:05am
Riley Martin Goes Off On Howard. 01/09/08. 8:30am
Double A's Brilliant Idea For Howard's Letterman Appearance. 01/09/08. 8:50am
High Pitch Eric Discussions And More Riley Clips. 01/09/08. 8:55am
Sean The White Rapper Out Of Jail. 01/09/08. 9:05am
The Latest Miss Howard TV Visits. 01/09/08. 9:10am
Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/09/08. 9:30am
Robin's News. 01/09/08. 9:40am
Wrap Up Show - Group Photo, Arite's Oversleeping. 01/09/08. 10:25am
Wrap Up Show - High Pitch Eric's Creepy Voice Mail Messages. 01/09/08. 10:35am
Wrap Up Show - Playboy Evaluations. 01/09/08. 10:35am
Wrap Up Show - Drew Carey's Call. 01/09/08. 11:05am
Wrap Up Show - Robin Posing For Playboy. 01/09/08. 11:20am
Wrap Up Show - Creepy High Pitch Eric. 01/09/08. 11:25am
Wrap Up Show - Sal's Lack Of Political Knowledge. 01/09/08. 11:30am

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Howard Doing Letterman Thursday Night. 01/09/08. 6:00am

Show opening bits and songs included: An Iron Sheik song parody to the tune of ''Who Are You,'' the ''Fuck the FCC'' song, The Bleeding Deacons singing a song about Artie's laugh, Lenny Kravitz performing ''Are You Gonna Go My Way'' live in Howard's studio.

Howard started off the show asking where Artie was. He said that he had a lot to talk about today. He said that Artie hadn't called in sick yet if he isn't coming in. He also talked about Artie talking about how he thinks he has that Prada Willi disease when he was on the Wrap Up Show yesterday.

Howard took a call but ended up talking about how Drew Carey was going to be calling in later this morning. Bong Hit Bill brought up Riley Martin who was kind of upset with Howard over the comment he made about him being like Pat Robertson. Howard said the guy went off on him for a full 7 minutes last night on his show.

Bill also asked Howard about going on Letterman and why he doesn't want to do it. Howard said that they called his agent yesterday and asked him to come on Thursday. He said that they're apparently really desperate to get guests over there. He said he told Don that he'd rather get it over with so he is going to do it tomorrow instead of next Monday. He said he's not that happy about it but he will be on tomorrow night.

Howard said that Scott Greenstein likes when he does that show in the 4th quarter so they can bump up subscribers. He said that he thought he was out of it when the writer's strike kept him from doing it. Then they kept calling him more and more so he had to agree to do it.

Howard said that he's not sure why they keep asking him to do the show when he doesn't want to do it. He said that it's like they'd want him there every day. He said that maybe Dave should retire and let him take over. Then he thought about it and said that's a job he wouldn't want.

Howard said that Letterman is way more hip than Leno but neither of them are doing anything that wild. He said that he's really not going to be a great guest tomorrow night either. He said he's just going to sit there.

Howard said that today is the second anniversary of their start date there so they're getting a big breakfast thanks to Scott Greenstein. They're also going to do a big group shot picture of everyone there. Gary said that they got an itinerary last night telling them that they were doing the shot today but no one asked him about that before planning it.

Gary said that he just talked to Artie and he overslept because his alarm clock didn't go off. He said he's going to be a little late.

Howard said that he's pretty sure that he's going to be done with radio after his contract is up in 3 years. He said that he looks miserable, he is miserable... Robin said that she could see the look on Howard's face this morning and knew he was miserable. Howard said that everything they do is dumb and he just realized that.

Howard And Robin's Movie Reviews. 01/09/08. 6:10am

Howard said Artie gave him the movie ''There Will Be Blood'' and it was a really good one. Robin wanted to see that one too so she asked him to pass it along to her. Howard said that Daniel Day Lewis was really good in the movie. He said the movie is about the oil business which sounds kind of lame but it turns out to be really good.

Robin said that the movie is only in 2 theaters in New York so it's tough to get out to see it. They spent a couple of minutes on that. Howard said that even Beth thought it was really good and they were both blown away by it.

Robin said she saw ''Teeth'' yesterday and really liked that. She thought it was really funny. Howard said it's about a woman who has teeth in her vagina and it's a horror movie. He said it was a real movie, not just something that someone made in their basement. Robin said it really was great.

Howard said he may go on Letterman and just talk about the movies he's seen lately. Bong Hit told him not to stress out about the whole thing, he does great every time. Howard said it's not even about that, he just doesn't want to do it. He just wants to go home after work.

Sal's Lack Of Knowledge Exposed Again. 01/09/08. 6:15am

Howard said he heard a news report about High Pitch Eric yesterday and he has some of the audio clips of him calling and leaving messages for this woman. That's what has him in trouble with the law right now.

Sal came in and told Howard where the Karloff clips were that Bong Hit had asked for. That led to Howard talking to him about how dopey he is. He talked about how dumb he sounded on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Sal said that he's just not that good with politics. He was asking him about Hillary Clinton and Sal was thinking that she was the governor of New York or something. Fred asked him who the senators were for New York and Sal thought it was Brownback and someone else. He didn't know there were two so Howard asked him if he could come up with the next one. Sal guessed Robert Morganthau.

Gary said that it's funny how whenever Sal doesn't know something, it's ''not his thing.'' Sal told Gary that being a producer isn't his thing. Howard said that Sal was saying on the Wrap Up Show that if he votes, he could help the country change. Howard asked him why he didn't vote for the other guy in the last election then. Sal said that's all heresy and it doesn't matter now.

Sal was saying that he's probably going to vote for Obama because he's got that ''black edge'' going for him. He was saying that he also agrees with him on some of the stuff he stands for. Howard told Sal to get out of there because Artie is right, everything that comes out of his mouth is dumb.

Howard played the Karloff ''Fuck you!'' prank call that Bong Hit had asked to hear earlier. Howard asked Bong Hit if that's the one he wanted to hear. Bong Hit said that was it, it was the first one they did on SIRIUS so that's why he had asked to hear it.

Howard played some of the clips from yesterday's Wrap Up Show where Sal was talking about Ronald Reagan and Barak Obama. He was also talking about how he wasn't sure if he was registered to vote because he had never voted in his life.

Howard said that Sal is dumb but Richard is just as dumb as him. He said that he got a note from Richard the other night talking about that guy Fred Thompson and how he just found out he was in the movies and that's why he's going to vote for him. Richard came in and said that he didn't know it was common knowledge. Howard told him that it's his major credential that he's in the movies. Richard said he found that out by watching The Simpsons on Sunday night. They referenced Thompson in that episode so that's apparently where Richard gets his news.

Howard said that the guy who played Gopher on The Love Boat was also a politician. Gary said that Thompson was a politician first before he got into acting. They ended up having him play himself in a movie one time and that's how he got into acting.

Howard said that he saw a picture of Angelina Jolie in the newspaper yesterday and she can't take a bad picture. He talked about how hot she is for a short time and said he had to get back to the Sal clips from the Wrap Up show.

Howard was talking about John McCain and how he looks like he's got chipmunk cheeks. He wondered if that was from being locked up as a prisoner and beaten. The guys said that it might be that or the fact that he's gone through some cancer treatments too.

Howard got back to the Sal clips where he was talking about why he wants to vote for Barak Obama. He said that he's a black man who is in the lead of this electoral race. Howard said that's really racist to say that he's going to vote for him because he's black. Robin said that he's saying that he's doing it because other white people are going to vote for him too.

In one clip Sal was asked how the whole primary thing works and how they pick who is going to run. He gave his own explanation about having two Republicans and two Democrats as well as two Libertarians who compete for the spot. Gary asked Sal to name the candidates that were in the primary but he really didn't know any other names other than Clinton and Obama. That's when Gary said he's not sure if he should register him or sterilize him.

Howard said that he predicted that Clinton was going to be the Democratic nominee. She won the New Hampshire primary and he's probably right. Howard said that she will be the nominee. He's sure of it. He thinks that the Clintons are liked by the Democrats so she'll get in.

Merger Discussions. 01/09/08. 6:30am

Howard read a story in the paper about a guy who was collecting Social Security and died. His two roommates wheeled him to the bank in the chair, like ''Weekend at Bernie's,'' and tried to cash his check. They had him in an office chair and he was all slumped over and not looking like a live person. They ended up getting busted for that and his friends were charged with forgery.

Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw this guy Jim Cramer talking about the XM and SIRIUS merger. He spent about 15 minutes talking to an expert about the whole thing and the expert was dumbfounded that the merger hadn't gone through yet. The guy said that Cramer comes across as crazy but he really had a good point with the merger.

Howard said that he's never seen a government behave like this with a merger like that. He said that no other merger has taken this long and it's not even an important service like the oil companies that they have approved mergers for in much less time. Howard said that he thinks that JD has the clip and he would like to play it. He said he'd like to kiss that guy on the tip of his penis for talking about it on his show.

Howard and the caller talked about the merger for a short time and then JD came in and said that Cramer only talked about it for about 30 seconds. The caller said that it wasn't on Mad Money, it was the show that Cramer has after that show. Howard played the 30 second clip where Jim said he thinks that the merger will happen but told people to hold off on buying the stock.

Howard said that he's shocked by the behavior of the government because these two companies are bleeding money and they need to do this merger. He said that they approve oil company mergers in a few months, this merger they're dragging out over a year.

Howard said that it's very frustrating that they can't get that through. He said that he does have some good news though. He said that there's a press release about their second anniversary there. He read through the press release (Howard Stern Continues The Radio Revolution Exclusively on SIRIUS Satellite Radio) where they talk about how quickly they've grown from about 700,000 subscribers to over 8.3 million. IT's only been 700 days according to the press release.

Fred played Robin's phone ringing sound effect but she knew that it was him. Howard said they got a lot of mail about that and how funny they thought it was that she was fooled yesterday when he was doing that.

Howard took a call from a guy who was in the middle of screaming at someone. The guy said that he was down at the docks picking up a load of something and some other guy was in his way so he had to yell at him to get out of the way.

Howard said he's going to be crowing about that press release when he goes on Letterman tomorrow night. He said that they have a bunch of stuff to get to but he had to take a break.

Sal And Richard's Latest Prank Call. 01/09/08. 6:50am

After the break we heard a Jeff the Drunk prank call. Howard came back after that and talked about the call he'd just heard and the image he had in his head thinking about that. Jeff was talking about pushing this woman's panties aside and licking her. Howard asked Robin if a guy should be down there for like 10 minutes or just 2 or 3 minutes. She said that 3-5 minutes should be fine. Howard said that the whole sex thing shouldn't take more than 10 or 15 minutes total. He said that you can get that done and then watch some TV or a movie or something.

Howard said that he could get it all done within the time of a commercial break on TV. He said that he wouldn't want to waste anyone's time. Robin said that the 15 minutes you're doing that isn't what you worry about, it's the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of your day that people should worry about.

Howard said he had a new Sal and Richard prank call to play. He went into that a short time later. Sal and Richard call an exterminator and say that they have a bee hive in their gun cabinet. They have a swarm of bees sound effect playing in the background. Then they have a dog barking sound and say that the bees got it. The woman tells them to get out of there. Then they have a Chinese delivery guy show up and come in. He gets stung and then John the Stutterer comes in and gets stung. The woman keeps telling them to get out of the house. They pretend to be getting stung too and that's about where it ends. They didn't go anywhere with the call. Howard figured that could have gone on all day long with the sound effects they were playing.

Artie Shows Up 55 Minutes Late. 01/09/08. 6:55am

Artie showed up around 6:55 after over sleeping. Artie came in with food in his hands. Howard wondered how he had time to get food. Artie said that they had some outside. Howard told him that they have even more coming later this morning.

Artie said that this is the first time he's over slept in 7 years. He said that he's not sure how it happened but he may have hit the snooze button. He said that his driver is supposed to call him if he doesn't hear from him and he probably woke him up around 6. He's supposed to be up by 5. Artie apologized to Howard for showing up late but Howard let him off the hook and said that it's happened to him too.

Howard Plays High Pitch Eric's Creepy Voice Mail Messages. 01/09/08. 7:00am

Howard said that High Pitch Eric is in trouble over some phone calls he's been making to a woman. He wasn't sure what they were all about so he asked Steve Langford to come in and explain to them what was going on. While they waited for him they played Eric's latest prank call where he calls a pharmacy and asks for some Twat cream. He goes back and forth with the woman asking her about how to get rid of the flies and stink down there.

Howard said they had Eric do that call in Spanish too but he never played it. He played that call where Eric was talking to this pharmacist about the cream and throwing around the chocha word for vagina.

Langford showed up and said that High Pitch is supposed to be turning himself in this weekend over these phone calls. He said they asked Eric about it but he didn't want to talk about it with them. Steve said that the girl that Eric has been calling was an acquaintance of his and she thinks that he's kind of volatile. She said that she didn't want to go to the police but she thinks that he may not be ''all there'' and figured it was best to go to the cops.

Howard played some of the messages that Eric left for this woman Laura where he was cursing her out and calling her a fuck face and threatening her. He called her a fuckin Jew but he's Jewish himself, or at least that's what the guys thought. Eric was telling her that he was going to smash her face into the pavement for talking about his friends.

Howard wondered why anyone would leave that on an answering machine. He said that the last place he would threaten someone is on an answering machine. He said that high pitched voice isn't very threatening sounding though. It's like Mickey Mouse asking you to go to the park. Artie said that he's an enormous monster though.

Howard said that he can't imagine being Eric's friend and having him leaving messages like that. Steve said that he seemed to be turning his life around before all of this came out. Howard said that he may be going off the deep end. He played some more of his messages where Eric was going off on this woman calling her names like ''unpretty bitch.''

Artie wondered how he has time to do that stuff. He figured he spends so much time eating and shitting that he wouldn't have that kind of time. Robin said that Eric does have friends though, that's the surprising thing. She said that she doesn't even have that many herself.

Johnny Fratto Calls In With A Special Guest. 01/09/08. 7:10am

Steve said they'll have more on that and about the KC Armstrong arrest as well. He said that KC is going to be in jail for at least another few days. He said that he's not allowed to make bail from what they've heard. Howard had Johnny Fratto on the phone so he asked him about that. Johnny said that he doesn't know what's going on there but he has another person on the phone with him. Howard spent a few minutes with

Johnny told Howard he had someone on the phone with him so Howard started guessing who it could be. Johnny said it was no one like the people they were naming, it turned out to be Mire Lansky's grandson. Howard and Artie spent a minute talking to him about his grandfather. They asked him if he has a lot of money from the family. He said that he doesn't work and just goes around hanging out with his friends like Johnny. Howard said that next week Johnny will probably have Richard Belzer's college roommate on the phone.

Howard told Johnny he had to get going and let the two of them go. He said he had a lot of stuff to get to today. Howard said that he had Lucky Luciano's caterer on the other line and head to get going. Howard and Artie spent a minute talking about the call before moving on.

Howard said that he was talking about that movie that Artie had given to him to watch. Artie said he got the screener to watch and he wanted Howard to hold on to it. Robin was getting it next and then his father was going to get it. They had to take a break a short time later.

Emily And Davina Evaluated For Playboy. 01/09/08. 7:20am

After the break Howard came right back as Fred was playing the Crazy Alice ''Chicken Bone Neck Cock Sucking Jew'' song. Howard let that play through and then played some voice mails that she left yesterday. She went off on Ralph in her latest messages. Ralph was in the studio to do some evaluations so Howard asked him if he had said something about her yesterday. Ralph ended up turning up Ronnie's headphone volume so Ronnie gave him a look that distracted Howard. That led to them playing the Mike Morse ''Ralphie Cakes'' song.

Richard touched the berry on Ralph's face and Ralph asked him not to touch him like that with those filthy hands of his. He figured he was playing with his balls and stuff and didn't want him near him. He talked about the berry on his face and how he used to pick at it when he first got it in high school. He said he went to a dermatologist one time and they were going to burn it off but he decided to keep it after that. Howard said he likes that Richard touched it and Ralph was disgusted by it.

Howard said he wanted Richard to touch it again but Ralph didn't want him near him. He was going to dump something on his head. Artie agreed with Ralph and he was scheeved out by him too.

Howard played the Crazy Alice voice mail where she went off on Ralph. She was saying that Ralph sucks Howard's dick and he's a fuckin' faggot. She was defending herself against something that the guys had said about her on the air but it wasn't all that clear what she was talking about. The guys had no idea what that was about.

Ralph said that Alice was giving him a hard time about leaching off of people but she does that with the government so she shouldn't be going off on him.

Howard said that they have some girls coming in to get evaluated and he had Ralph, Ronnie and Richard in to evaluate them. The first girl was Emily. Artie said he saw her downstairs this morning and she's really hot. She's 25 years old and she's wanted to be in Playboy for a while now. She said she's a nurse and that was turning Howard on. He said that she's hard working and gives to people by doing that job.

Howard asked Emily if those were her real breasts. She said she didn't know so Howard took that as a no. He said she looks kind of like Lindsay Lohan and that led to him talking about an article he read about Lindsay throwing herself at some guy when she was out recently. She had forced herself upon this guy and he explained it all to a reporter.

Howard had Emily turn around for the guys and show off her body. Howard asked if it's tough to be a nurse with a body like that. She said that she's covered up all the time so it's not an issue with the guys there. Howard read more about this Lindsay Lohan story and found out that the guy had sex with her for about an hour and a half. Howard asked Emily if she's wild sexually. She said that she's really not. She said that she has kissed a girl but she prefers to be with guys.

Emily wants to be in Playboy so Howard asked her to take her top off. She took that top off and Howard said that they have to see the whole thing. She wasn't undressing fast enough. Artie liked that she had big areolas but Ralph said that he's not a fan of that. He said that she won't lose points over that though. She said that she used to be a B-cup and had ''puffer nipples'' before she got the implants.

Howard asked Ronnie what he thought of this girl. Ronnie said that he's not sure they'll take her in Playboy with the tattoo or not. He said that there's something wacky about her knees too. She might be knock kneed or something. He said that they're crazy looking. Richard said that he saw that too. Ronnie also said that her one nipple is different than the other. One is uneven and not in the right location. Whoever did the boob job took her nipples away and they're hard to see. He said that she's got a beautiful face though. He thinks that maybe a special edition or something would be good for her.

Ralph said that Emily stands weird but they could pose her to make her look right. He said that her boobs are off but they could pose her to make them look okay. He said that she's sweating a bit too. It turned out it was baby oil on her ass, not sweat. Ralph said he didn't think that she had the Playboy look, he thought she had a bit of a butterface. He said that everything was good but her face. Artie thought she was a butter knees. Ralph said that her body is good but not the face. He said that she's not that bad that she could win a Butterface contest though.

Howard asked Richard what he thought. He said that her face is the best part of her. Her left boob was off a bit. They talked about her nipples and how they were off too. Richard said that her ass could be tightened up a little more. He said that she needs to do some squats and stuff. They were talking about the panties and how bad they looked.

Howard said he had to disagree with them and said that she could be in Playboy. Ronnie said that she could be in the magazine, just not a centerfold. Fred said that he thinks that the hair is bad but she does look good. He said that her boobs weren't perfect but he could get past that.

The guys wanted to see more of Emily's ass so Gary suggested that she lift up her panties or something. She did that and the guys said that her ass does need a little bit of work. Fred thinks that she could work on that stuff for about 6 months and she'd be able to get into the magazine. Howard thought that Emily was crushed by all of this but she said she was okay. Howard asked her to go and do some working out and come back in a few months to show off what she's done. She said she could do that.

Howard moved on to the next contestant, Davina, who has wanted to pose for the magazine for about 8 years. She's never sent in any pictures though. She was married for 8 months but her husband cheated on her with her maid of honor. She caught them doing it so she had to leave the guy. She was very close to her maid of honor until that happened. She said that she walked in on them when they were doing stuff on their boat. She said that she looked at them like there was no way that it was happening. She said that her friend told her that she was seeing things. She said she might be blonde but she's not that stupid.

Davina said that her husband was actually inside of her when she saw them. She said she called his dad and even he told her that he would never do that to her. She said that she had even gotten it on with the maid of honor but her husband didn't know that. She said that if he had asked, she may have asked him to do stuff with them eventually.

Howard told Davina that it was time for the truth. She claimed that she was 25 but Ralph didn't believe that. He said that she looked 28 or so. Ronnie saw her ID though and said that she really is 25. Howard had Davina take her top off and saw that she had breast implants too. Artie said that those were nice tits though. Howard asked him when he became one of the evaluators. He said that his microphone is on and he's going to say something if he sees nice tits.

Howard went to Ronnie first and asked him if she could be in Playboy. He said that not with the scar she has on her stomach. She has an appendix scar. She's also got some kind of roll she's trying to hide on the left side. She needs to tone up but she could be in Hustler or something according to Ronnie. He said that the boobs are nice, he likes those. He told her to lose at least 10 pounds and work out really good.

Ralph said that most of the stuff is fixable. He said that her face was great and if he could take her face and put it on Emily's body, they'd have a winner. He told Davina that she's at least 30 pounds overweight. She's 145 pounds and 5'9'' tall. Howard told her that Ralph is right and she should be about 120 pounds. She said that she was 130 at her wedding and she was told she was too skinny. Howard said that her husband cheated on her though so maybe that wasn't thin enough.

Fred said that she does have a roll under her chin and she'd have to lose the weight to get rid of that. Artie thinks that she could get into Jugs magazine if she claims that scar is from a knife fight. Ralph said that her boobs were off too but if she did lose some weight, they might be okay. He told her that if she's really only 25, she should be ashamed of herself for being that overweight.

Richard was up next and said that she's got a Paris Hilton type look but she has to make her body look like that. Fred thinks she has a Jessica Simpson look. Artie said that he'd take her out and bang her right now if he could. Richard said she has some serious camel toe going too.

Howard asked Davina if she could take her bottoms off. She told him that she won't if she has to lose 30 pounds. Ralph thinks that she has more of a chance of getting into the magazine than Emily does. He said that she's got that full body that they want for that magazine.

Howard was wrapping up when he took a call from Steve from Playboy, which was actually Sal, who said that if they take their bottoms off, he'd check them out on Howard TV. Artie asked Ronnie to measure up against Davina to see if she's lying about her height. Ronnie told him to fuck off.

Richard said that he's got a suggestion and asked the girls if they'd like to kiss. The girls asked why so Richard just said that it would turn them on. Davina said that she can't do it. She said that Emily is very beautiful but she just can't do it. Howard gave up on trying to get them to do any of that stuff. He wrapped up and told the girls they did okay but they didn't get into the next stage of things.

They only had two girls this morning so Artie ended up getting upset about that. Artie wanted to evaluate the receptionist out in the lobby but that wasn't going to happen. Fred threw in Robin's phone ringing sound as they were wrapping up and going to break. Robin said that it wasn't her phone.

Drew Carey Calls In. 01/09/08. 8:05am

After the break we heard a Jack and Rod Show bit that Sal and Richard did with Evil Dave Letterman. Fred played some Aerosmith ''Sweet Emotion'' as they were coming back. Howard came back a short time later and had Drew Carey on the phone. He said that Drew used to say that he was done with TV and didn't want to do another TV show ever again. Now he's got two TV game shows, The Price is Right and The Power of 10.

Howard asked Drew how he and his girlfriend are doing. Drew said that they're going to get married but they haven't set a date yet. Howard asked Drew how many times he saw her at the strip club before he asked her to marry him. He laughed and said he wasn't sure.

Howard said he always wanted to be a game show host. He thinks that it would be an easy gig. He said that the Price is Right is something that would be tough to play because they have so many games to learn. Drew said that he does have to walk through them before the show starts but he's able to remember them while they're taping.

Howard said that the hardest part of that show is telling the contestants how to play even though they already know how to play. Drew said it's just like telling your friends how to play a game of Risk or something.

Jason came in and said that he's seen Drew doing The Price is Right and he will screw up at least one game per episode and the producers have to correct him.

Drew said that he thought it was nuts when they asked him to take over for Bob Barker. He figured everyone was going to make fun of him when he took over. Howard asked Drew about all of the hot chicks that he works with over there and if he's ever tempted by any of them. That led to them talking about how Bob Barker got into some trouble after he dated one of the girls on the show.

Howard said that Bob used to have women reach into his pocket to get money from there. He said that he and his father used to talk about that and after he talked about it on the air, Bob stopped doing it. Drew said that was back in the 70s that they started doing that stuff. They also liked to drink between shows and smoke on the set, it was a whole different time.

Howard said that it's great that Drew can just walk in, host the game and get paid for it. They shoot 2 shows a day and they have 12 games to play per day. He said that he goes to work by 11 and he's done by 5:30 and he only works 3 days a week. Howard asked him if he's getting 10 million a year to do that. Drew said he's not getting that yet.

Artie told Drew to tell Howard how long it would take to do a full season of ''Who's Line Is It Anyway.'' Drew said that they'd finish up the Drew Carey show and then they'd do the sketches for that other show and they'd get about 10 shows a week done. Artie said that Drew was the go to guy for ABC for a while there. They used to do the whole season in 2 or 3 weekends.

Drew used to be miserable doing those shows over there. Drew said that he tried to kill himself a few times in his life. They were really pussy moves though and he tried to kill himself with Sominex and beer one time. He said he went down and told some people that he took some sleeping pills and some people drove him to the hospital. They made him puke it up and there was one guy standing behind him and singing the Sominex theme song as he was puking them up.

drew said he tried one other time to kill himself in Vegas but that one didn't work either, obviously. He said he didn't remember that one so well. He said he's really changed over the past couple of years and he feels like changing his name to something like ''World Be Free'' or something like that. He can't imagine how he ever got to the point where he wanted to kill himself. Howard said that's what he's been trying to tell Artie lately.

Howard said that Drew is hosting the Power of 10 tonight on CBS. Drew said that he has to fly to New York to do that show. He said that show takes about an hour and a half to tape the show. They don't even shut the tape off at any point.

Howard said that Drew was the first guest on Ellen Degeneres' show the day that she went on and cried about the dog she had given to another family. Drew didn't think that Ellen had done anything wrong and said that he told her that everyone loves her and she was going to be fine.

Howard said that Drew almost broke his arm on the set of The Price is Right when his arm got stuck in one of the wheels he has to spin. He said that he was joking about how it was going to get crushed and it actually happened. He said that he ended up going to a lunch meeting with a guy that day because he had waited for the meeting so long.

Howard said that the girls on The Price is Right are really hot and he wondered who dresses them. Drew wasn't sure so he told Howard to check the end credits. Drew said that one of the women is pregnant and they're letting her go through the whole pregnancy on the show. Howard thinks that's a mistake. He said he thinks that Drew is going to be in charge of killing those women off when they get too old to do that job.

Howard told Drew he's really happy for him that he's doing so well right now. Drew said that he never imagined that he'd be hosting that show. He didn't think he'd fit in. Howard said that he didn't picture him as the host either and he figured they'd pick a radio DJ type to do that.

Howard asked Drew about the Ellen thing and what he really thought about her breaking down and crying. Drew said that he felt really bad for the woman that lost her dog. He said he felt really bad for Ellen too. He said that he's really changed over the past few years.

Gary came in and said that Drew has been buying lunch for the writers who are on strike out there in California. He's been paying for lunch at the local diners where they're out picketing. Howard told him not to give away all of his money.

Howard asked Drew if he's watching a lot of porn like he used to. Drew said that he really hasn't been doing that a lot lately. He said that he does get a DVD from a friend once in a while though. Howard gave him another plug and then took some phone calls.

One caller said that he used to wack it to the girls on The Price is Right. Howard said that he used to do that too. Drew said he used to wack off to Hee Haw. Howard said he did that too once in a while. He said that there's nothing more pathetic than him waiting by his TV to see some models on The Price is Right to come out. Another caller asked Drew about Wayne Brady and if he's really an asshole. Drew said that he's been fine when he's been around him. He's super sweet and nice to everyone. Howard asked the guy why he thinks that Wayne Brady is a dick. Artie said that Greg Fitzsimmons had some stories about him and they found him to be a prima donna.

Howard asked Drew if he's been going to therapy or something. Drew said he does go occasionally. Howard wondered why he can go occasionally but he has to go 3 days a week himself. Another caller asked Drew if he had a big dick or something and that's how he's getting the hot chicks. Drew said that it's average, it's really not that big. Howard figured it was thick though so that's where he had the size. Drew laughed and said that must be it. Howard gave Drew some more plugs and let him go a short time later.

Riley Martin Goes Off On Howard. 01/09/08. 8:30am

Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was shopping for cars and everyone was pushing XM at the Jaguar dealer and at the Toyota dealer. They tried to tell him that XM was the same as SIRIUS but he knew better. He said they eventually offered to hook him up with SIRIUS at the Toyota dealer. Fred said that he thinks that Jaguar actually does have SIRIUS. So does Toyota, so that didn't make a lot of sense. Howard thanked him for that and moved on to the Riley Martin clips.

Yesterday Howard compared Riley Martin to Pat Robertson, just saying that they were similar in the way that they have fairy tales that they tell. Riley ended up getting pisseed off at Howard and started his show off by going off on him. Howard played the clip where Riley's co-host, Eron, asked him about the Pat Robertson thing. Riley said that he has love for these young people but he ''cannot allow this transgression go unresponded to.'' He then went on to complain about not getting paid while Howard was on vacation. He said that stopped him from being able to do his Christmas shopping.

Howard played more of Riley's complaining where he was going off on him about being home and opening gifts while the rest of the people were working and not getting paid. Howard wondered if he should be concerned by this guy or not because he does seem to be a little angry. Robin said that he may not want to take it as a joke, he could be dangerous, you never know.

Howard played more of Riley's rant where he was going off on him. He was going on and on comparing Howard to some evil people. Riley went on and on letting his thoughts out about Howard. He seems to really be seething inside and let out all of his anger during this rant. He even went off on Robin about her dating Jim Florentine. Howard wondered if anyone thought about Riley while they were on vacation. No one had but Riley seems to have been thinking about them.

Riley was complaining about how he hadn't gotten paid on time after the first of the year. He didn't get his check until the 7th of the month. That's because they have to mail it to him though. Riley's sidekick was agreeing with all he was saying and making things even worse. Riley was throwing out a lot of those ''Uhh...'' comments that he does when he's speaking.

Riley was accusing Howard of watching pedophile snuff films and stuff like that. Howard said that he's never seen either one of those things so he's not sure what he's talking about there. Howard said that this is coming from a guy who he gave a job to.

Riley was talking about all of the people who seem to go on vacation while Howard is on vacation. Robin said that Riley doesn't seem to know that they mail out his check and he doesn't get paid on that exact day that he's supposed to get paid. Howard said that guy should really quit there, they don't really need him to work there. He's got so much anger toward them and he doesn't seem to want to be there.

Gary said that Riley is supposed to get paid within 30 days of the date he's scheduled to get paid. He expects it to show up that day he's getting paid but he doesn't seem to know that it takes time to mail a check. Howard said that Riley really should leave, he's miserable.

Robin said that Riley said something about her not being black because she's dating a white man, meanwhile he's got a white wife! Howard took a call from a guy who said that he loves Riley's bullshit and he'd love to hear a special or something on a weekend. Robin said that they have done that once in a while.

The caller asked about Howard TV and said that Howard really doesn't talk about it enough. Howard said that he doesn't have time to talk about it all day long. He said that the people know about it already and it's always there for them to watch.

Howard played a Jack and Rod bit where they have Riley saying ''Huh'' over and over again as they're speaking to the author of a book. The woman asks Riley over and over again what the doctor told him about his problem but he just keeps saying ''Huh?'' over and over and over.

Howard took a call from a guy who said that Riley is fuckin retarded and they can't get rid of him. Howard said that they're not getting rid of him, he's just amazed that he stays with them. Another guy said that Riley is amazing and he's much better than even Robin is. He said that Robin is useless. Howard hung up on him and took another call. The next caller asked why Riley would be celebrating Christmas. Howard wasn't sure about that.

Double A's Brilliant Idea For Howard's Letterman Appearance. 01/09/08. 8:50am

Double A called in and wished them a Happy Anniversary. He also said that it was great news to hear the 8.3 million thing. He was also asking if he wanted to do a top 10 Wack Pack list where they have 10 of them show up and do a top 10 list. Howard said that doesn't make any sense and asked Double A if he through that it made sense. Howard told him that he doesn't write the bits and he's not in charge of that stuff. He let him go a short time later and ridiculed him for having such a dopey idea.

Howard said that he'd walk out and tell Dave he was going to have his crew read a Top 10 List. Right. Artie missed the announcement that Howard had about doing Letterman tomorrow night instead of Monday. Howard told him that he's just going to sit there and do nothing tomorrow. He doesn't want to be there, he has nothing to talk about. He won't do a pre-interview either. He said he goes on that show and he does that under protest.

Howard said that he's going to talk about the 8.3 million subscribers and maybe how quickly they were able to get that number up there.

High Pitch Eric Discussions And More Riley Clips. 01/09/08. 8:55am

Artie read an article about how the team that replaced Imus had gotten the best ratings the station had gotten in years. that led to Howard talking about Imus and how laughable his ratings should be now that he's back on radio. He said that they've been running PSAs during his show lately and not even filling it up with advertising. They goofed on Imus for a few minutes and somehow ended up on the subject of High Pitch Eric again. That led to Howard replaying the prank call Eric made to the pharmacist asking for twat cream. Howard also played some of Eric's calls to the woman that he was cursing out on her answering machine. Artie was goofing on him and doing an impression of him calling her a Jew and things like that. It didn't make much sense since Eric is a Jew himself.

Howard and Artie talked about how Eric comes off as a gangster in that clip. That led to Artie doing his Biggie Smalls impression but doing it in his High Pitch Eric voice. At one point Eric threatens to smash this woman's face into the pavement and tells her to go ahead and test him if she wants. Howard said he can picture him in court saying that he's retarded and he would never do that again.

They played a clip where they had Eric saying K and Q words so he was making that disgusting sound he makes when he says anything with that ''chh'' sound. Artie is really disgusted by that noise and it seems to drive him nuts when he hears it.

Howard said that those calls Eric made are really creepy. He said he wants to talk to him about that but Eric apparently doesn't want to talk about it with anyone.

Howard got back to the Riley Martin show clips. He had one where a caller got Riley all worked up by telling him he was on his side in all of that. He said that Howard comparing Riley to Pat Robertson was very wrong. Howard said he was just comparing him to Pat because Pat talks to God and Riley talks to Aliens.

Sean The White Rapper Out Of Jail. 01/09/08. 9:05am

Howard had Sean the White Rapper on the phone. He got out of jail and called into the show. He said that he was in for drug charges and he was going to change his life and get on with his life. Howard said that they catch you when your electric bill goes up too high. Sean said that he didn't want to talk about that stuff, he just wants to move on. He said that he had a lot of time to think while he was in there.

Sean told Howard that he really missed them and it was great to hear them again. Howard asked him what he thinks he'll end up in jail for next. Sean said that he's in recovery and he'd like to start a new chapter there at SIRIUS and maybe do some counseling for people there. Howard said that's not going to happen and he wanted to know what he's really going to do. Howard told him to get on the right path and maybe lose the anger.

Howard thanked Sean for the call and said that he was going to keep tabs on him. Sean got in a plug for the web site that he's started, ModMyLife.com, and kept trying to keep Howard on the line. Howard said he just wanted to move on with the show. He finally got him off the line and was about to go to break.

The Latest Miss Howard TV Visits. 01/09/08. 9:10am

Howard heard that they had the latest Miss Howard TV there so he had to bring her in. Her name was Lisa Michelle and she's 22 years old. Artie said that she's really fine and whoever is hiring these chicks are doing an amazing job. It turns out she's from a web site called MariasAngels.com. Gary said that she smelled great, like cotton candy.

Howard said that Lisa was a white girl but she was very tan. she said that she's half Italian and that's where the color comes from. Artie really seemed to like her.

Lisa said that she used to do some girl kissing stuff when she was in high school but she doesn't do that now. She's been going out with a guy now for 2 years. Artie said that they have to get her out of there because it's going to get depressing. She said that she works with the guy at Hooters.

Artie asked her if she'd take 10 grand to forget about her boyfriend for 2 hours. She said she'd take it. Artie said that he'd pay 10 grand for that.

Howard read that Lisa was arrested when she was 17. She said that she wasn't quit that hot back then. She said that she had a girl who was bullying her back in high school and one night she was out drinking. She was drinking a bottle of Malibu and felt tough so she went off on her at this party. She ended up hitting the other chick with the bottle and broke her nose. The bottle didn't break and the girl went down. Her nose ended up getting broken but she thought she had killed the girl.

Lisa said that she used to be an A-cup but she got implants and now she's a full C or small D cup. She said that her boyfriend is a kitchen manager at the Hooters she works at. Howard said that's amazing, a waitress at hooters landed the cook. Gary said that he did stick with her when she was flat chested. Howard asked her if she would have sex with Artie for 10 grand. She said no and then said that she'd do it for 5.

Howard asked Lisa to model for them and spin around. She was wearing a bathing suit but didn't want to take it off. Howard asked her if she's ever tried anal. She said that she tried it one time but didn't like it, it hurt too much.

Howard wrapped up with her and Artie tried to get her phone number so he could text message her. She wasn't falling for it though. Howard read that she also draws porn pictures and saw one of them on the monitor. He said that it was a very good drawing actually.

Artie asked her to punch her number into his phone so he could text her. She said she'd do that later and ran out of the studio. Howard said she got beat up by a group of lesbians in school one time too so he had her come back in to talk about that. Lisa came back in and said that the girls didn't like her and they came up to her and confronted her when she was walking home from a party. She said that they beat her up like they were men beating the shit out of someone. She said they didn't take her clothes off or anything like Howard was picturing.

Howard let Lisa go and played an audio clip from an anal film. Artie said that he's going to the AVN awards this weekend and he'll be presenting out there and the two chicks he's going out on stage with are really hot. He's going out with Jana Jordan and another chick and they were both pretty hot.

Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/09/08. 9:30am

After the break we heard a couple of Baba Booey song parodies and an Iron Sheik ''Fuck You'' song parody. Fred also played some Lenny Kravitz as they were coming back. Howard came back a short time later and said that he was reading about how some people are upset about Judge Judy yelling at mostly black people on her show. He said that it's more entertaining when that's going on though.

Howard said that Eddie Murphy may have pulled a good move and got married in Tahiti where the marriage may not even be legal. He said that Eddie doesn't look like a fun guy anymore. He's always serious in pictures and just seems miserable.

Howard had Steve Langford come in after that. Artie was eating some Filet Mignon that came up from Del Friscos this morning and he said it was soooo good. The food was part of the 2nd anniversary celebration that was going on this morning.

Steve got to his news preview and said that they're going to be talking about Howard's second anniversary there at SIRIUS. Steve said they'll have special coverage of that today. Howard said they're out in the hall preparing for the group shot that has somehow become a tradition there.

Steve said that hey have an update on KC Armstrong's arrest and release from jail. They also talked to Vinnie Favale about Howard's Letterman appearance tomorrow. They'll have more on that today on Howard 100 News.

Artie got some more Filet Mignon after he had asked for some more from the food out there. Howard figured he wasn't on his diet yet going by what he was eating. Artie said that he was just enjoying the anniversary celebration.

Jon Hein came in and gave his Wrap Up Show preview. He said that they're going to be talking about the evaluations they did earlier. That led to Howard asking Robin if she would pose for Playboy for a million bucks. Robin said she probably would do it for that kind of money. She said she's feeling good about her body now. She said that a million might do it. Howard asked Robin how much she's lost but she wouldn't say. She said that she is continuing to lose though. Robin said she didn't even want to give out her goal number.

Howard told Robin that her number should be 120 pounds because she's 5'6'' tall. Robin said that she could never get down that far. She said that at her lightest she was more than 125 pounds. That was back at WNBC. Howard said that he thinks that she should be 120, she'd look great. Robin said that she would look awful at that weight.

Jon Hein said they'll be talking about Drew Carey's call to the show, Artie's over sleeping, High Pitch Eric's messages, Sean the White Rapper, Riley's rants and much, much more.

Robin's News. 01/09/08. 9:40am

Fred played a song parody to start Robin's news. It one that Richard did about Robin's Tits coming out at night but Howard didn't like that one. Robin started her news off talking about a new TV show called the Cashmere Mafia. Howard hadn't seen it yet. It stars Lucy Liu. Howard said he may check it out.

Robin also talked about how you can add 14 years to your life by not smoking, exercising and drinking moderately. Those were the findings of a study done over in the UK.

Howard asked if they should take off Martin Luther King day this year. Artie thinks that they should, they took it off last year. Howard said they should be off that day then. Gary said that it is a company holiday. Howard said that they're going to take it off then, there should be no arguing about it. Howard asked the fans not to get mad at them for taking the day off. Artie wanted to take off Columbus day then if they're going to take of MLK day. He said that he's Italian so he should get that day off. Robin said that they've only taken that day off like once.

Robin got back to that 14 year story again and Artie said that it's just going to be 14 years of misery so why extend it. Howard said that his parents seem to be enjoying their lives and they're in their 80s.

Robin read a story about Jessica Simpson dating Tony Romo and how his worst game was when she was in the stands watching him play. She also talked about how Mr. Blackwell is getting too old to do the announcing with his worst dressed list. He's got Florence Henderson reading his lists now. They played some clips of her reading that list. Howard said that Mr. Blackwell must be in really bad shape if he's not reading his own lists. After hearing all of that Howard said that guy is an incredible no-talent, although he did enjoy watching him on all of the talk shows he used to do.

Robin read a story about Will Smith possibly becoming a Scientologist. Howard said that he thinks all of that stuff is fairy tale like. He said that Scientology is no stupider than the rest of the religions out there but it does seem to come across as dumb to change from one to another.

Robin said that the Golden Globe awards are going to be drastically different this year because of the writer's strike. Howard said that they should talk about the people who are appearing on Jimmy Kimmel and Jay Leno's shows. He said that Jay Thomas was on Kimmel's show and doesn't seem to care that he's crossing the picket line. Pam Anderson was on Leno's show and claiming she didn't know anything about a strike. Howard said that's a weird move. He said he'd like to know what that's like for him to cross the picket line like he's doing.

Robin had some clips to play from the People's Choice Awards from last night. The guys talked about some of the shows that won and one of them was Deal or No Deal. Howard said that he's happy for Howie Mandel doing that show but the show really is nothing. He said there's nothing to do on that show.

Robin played a few more clips from the award show and had the guys goofing on some of the comments the people were making. Robin also talked about how rapper Eminem had gained a lot of weight and was up over 200 pounds according to an article she read. He was also sick over the holidays because of his rapid weight gain.

Robin talked about the New Hampshire primaries and what went on up there. She also talked about Rudy Giuliani and had Howard playing some clips of him making a speech. Ralph came barging in at that point to comment on Rudy. Howard said he didn't want him in there but let him say a few words before kicking him out.

Robin went on to play some clips of Barak Obama and John Edwards making their speeches. The guys spent a few minutes talking about that stuff. Artie said that he may have to vote for the first time ever in this Presidential election after Robin was talking about how strong Hillary is coming on.

Howard said that Mitt Romney must be freaking out because he spent so much money on this campaign and New Hampshire didn't back him up. It was a like a big slap in the face to him when they voted for John McCain. That led to the guys talking about religion since Romney is a Mormon and Howard figured that all of those religions were basically the same. He didn't know that people would be against a Mormon the way they seem to be.

Robin had Howard playing a bunch of clips of Ron Paul saying some stuff up there. Howard seemed to like what he was saying.

Robin had a story about a man who beheaded some neighbors because they were trying to eat his favorite dog. Howard said that things must be bad over there in Russia. He said that's like Scott Salem's dream. That was it for Robin's news. Howard let Artie get in some plugs for his upcoming gigs and web site and then ended the show around 10:15am.

Wrap Up Show Wrap Up

Wrap Up Show - Group Photo, Artie's Oversleeping. 01/09/08. 10:25am

Jon Hein started off the Wrap Up Show introducing everyone in the studio as he does every show. Gary said that it was going to be one long assed Wrap Up show. Jon said that they just took the group shot for the Stern crew. Artie said that he wasn't in any of the pictures. Gary said that they wanted everyone from both channels in the picture. He said that there were people there that he didn't recognize. He said that Skippy showed up and he doesn't know him that well because he works at night. Artie said he's the one who banged that broad Haydn.

Gary said that they were yelling for people to come over and get their pictures taken while all of that was going down.

Jon asked Artie about his oversleeping and what happened there. Artie said that he never oversleeps like that and his driver ended up talking to his sister who got all upset thinking that something had happened to him. Gary said that his sister called him this morning all upset and he started to panic himself. He said that he was afraid for Artie because he's never missed waking up like that before. Artie said that his driver is a great guy but he can't be calling his sister like that.

Artie said that his sister and mother crying are his Kryptonite and that's why he gave up using coke. Artie said that he's writing his book now and he's finding it really hard to do that. He said that he finally figured out an angle for starting these two stories he was writing and he didn't want to stop. That led to him staying up until 1 in the morning. He went to bed around then and tested his alarm. He said he was all stressed out and must have slept right through the alarm. He said that everyone there is very understanding.

Gary said that he was really stressed out and Jon said that he could see it in his eyes when he saw him this morning. Gary said he was hoping that maybe Teddy had spoken to him last night but that didn't happen. Gary said that the funny thing is that Benjy showed up an hour and a half late one morning but no one had noticed that

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